I have been doing some deep pondering this past weekend since starting my blog. I mean, you can’t write a blog without something interesting to say. Who wants to listen to continuous rants about the lack of help from my spouse? Besides, why waste energy on being frustrated with the lack of help! I looked at his bank account balance this weekend – I’m hiring a cleaning team and paying for it out of his account!

I also realized that my spouse is not the only Toad in MY road. I have numerous Toads, although he is the biggest and by far the most frustrating. My other Toads are my fault. I get frustrated because of lack of help from him, so I just don’t do anything either. I figure if I let things get bad enough, he will pitch in and help. NOT! So this weekend, I began doing the work myself – slowly & quietly, leaving him to stew in his man cave. No one offered to fix breakfast and lunch / dinner were whatever leftovers he could find in the refrigerator – he HATES leftovers. I noshed on veggies and fruit – not much prep and he doesn’t like them!

MY next truly big Toad is my weight. I cannot blame that one on anyone but myself. Well, maybe my stupid brain too – that little voice in my brain that is always shouting “I want chips, I want sweets, I want …, I want …”. Once in my life, when my Daughter was little, I managed to lose 70+ pounds. I realized that if I did not, I might not live to raise her. I kept my weight down until she was in her early teens. I started gaining back when my Mother was diagnosed with cancer. Now 25+ years after my Mother’s death, I weigh more than I ever have in my life. Well last week, I decided that I have to get this Toad under control. Part of that control, is taking care of me, first and foremost. The male human Toad can take care of himself! Or not, his choice.

Writing this blog gives me time to reflect, take stock and focus on what is important to me. I have spent the past 60+ years being what I was expected to be, working to care for others, and to earn a living to keep a roof over mine & my family’s heads. While I still have to work to earn that living, I will be treating my precious free time much more carefully. I will not take it for granted and I will do things I want to do. And along the way, I may just get rid of some of The Toads in MY Road.