Category Archives: Weight Toad

The Fourteen Week Chicago Shuffle

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For the past 14 weeks, work has required that I be at a customer site in the Chicago, IL area. This meant weekly travel that sometimes extended through the weekend, making my stay to two weeks. I have not seen my office at work since June 24th. Hopefully it’s still my office. Given the shortage of office space at work, they very well could have assigned it to someone else!

The good news is the customer accepted the system – allowing my company to gain needed third quarter revenue. The better news is that I am on vacation next week AND my Daughter is visiting!!! We are going to P A R T Y!!!!!

During my tenure in the Chicago area I discovered some great places to eat, some really neat towns and shopping areas, and found a great hair stylist at an Aveda Salon. And on one of those weekends I had to stay in Chicago for work, THE Toad came down for a weekend. We enjoyed a delicious dinner of Wylarah Filet Mignon at Eddie Merlot’s, Chicago-style deep dish pizza at Giordano’s and Chicago-style hot dogs at Portillo’s. While all of this was a SERIOUS deviation from THE Toad’s post heart attack diet, he immediately returned to the “straight and narrow” on  his diet. Come to find out, THE Toad has lost over 30 pounds since his heart attack! And he admitted to feeling much better. Now I have to get on my pony & get MY weight off. He is doing SO much better at watching his diet than I am; it’s sad.

While I said in one of my previous texts that I had a breakthrough in my eating and had avoided all the sweets, snacks and bad food during my initial weeks in Chicago, and I did manage 17 days of exercise, I completely fell off the wagon as the installation in Chicago grew more intense and stressful. The last month has pretty much been too many calories, no exercise, and stress, stress, stress! Not a combination for weight loss.

So what’s coming up after vacation? Back to Chicago! But, since the system was accepted, things “should” be less stressful. And, I have to eat better and exercise or I am going to be the next one to have a heart attack!

Work Travel, Heart Attack, and Other Crazy Toads

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So many Toads; so little time! The Toads in my life are moving at Mach 2 these days. Since my last blog post the Work Travel Toad has returned full time. As have the Bitchy Customer Work Toads. Lord save me from female Project Managers who feel they have to act like the ultimate bitch to be successful. I guess they never heard the old saying “you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar!” Do they really think it makes them more successful? I have worked the Project Management game for 15+ years and have been very successful at it, but not once have I felt the need to act like an unmitigated bitch to be successful. Treating people respectfully and appreciating their contribution to the project goes a lot further.

Then there is the 5 AM phone call to your hotel room from your Daughter to say “Mom, Daddy had a heart attack last night, emergency surgery and no one can get you on your cell phone!” Talk about shifting into over drive! Immediate calls to the corporate travel agency for a plane home, speeding drives to / from airports, one way car rentals, mad cart rides through the airport to get to the next plane, and a lot of luck got me to the hospital 12 hours later. THE Toad, was fine. I will say that he seems to have a new outlook on life and is more amenable to helping me and spending time with me.

Miraculously, he had driven himself to the hospital, then was transferred to another hospital where he underwent emergency surgery to insert a stent into the main artery to the heart. Turns out I was right – the day before I left on travel, when he had arm and shoulder pain, he was indeed having heart attacks. Of course, being your typical hard headed male, he was certain it was shoulder pain due to his torn rotator cuff. When the doctor was taking him into surgery, he suggested to THE Toad that he should listen to his wife next time as she was obviously smarter than him! Score one for the wife!

In the aftermath of the heart attack THE Toad & I have made the decision to move to New Hampshire to live closer to our Daughter. Luckily my work allows me to work from anywhere so long as I have a major airport nearby and a high speed internet connection. So, instead of waiting until I retire to move near my Daughter, we are putting the house we purchased 2 years ago up for sale and making plans to move. I truly hope my next move is to the funeral home! I have an enough moves in my life! On the other hand, I am very much looking forward to living near my Daughter and being able to visit with her more frequently. We have not lived in the same town since she was 18 years old and went off to college. This will be a real treat. She is, and always has been, my Daughter and my best friend. My journey through life with her is my most cherished experience.

During this past week, while working at the customer site, I had a critical breakthrough with the Weight Toad! I managed to resist the temptation to indulge in the various donuts, muffins, cookies and snacks that are ever present during major installs at a customer site. I stuck to my clean eating plan – consuming fish, chicken, salads (without massive amounts of salad dressing), veggies, black coffee and water. I felt SO much better all week long. Today I did indulge in a pizza for dinner and I must say, I feel really crappy this evening. Back to the clean eating tomorrow. I felt SO much better all last week. That was a MAJOR accomplishment for me. I also lost 2 pounds. At least the Weight Toad is going in the right direction – down!

And today just happens to be the 34th anniversary for THE Toad and I! Proof positive that miracles do happen!

 

The Weight Toad

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Losing weight is such an ordeal. I have tried every diet known to mankind – and failed at all of them. The only time I ever successfully lost weight was on a medically supervised diet in my early 20’s. And I kept the weight off, God only knows how, for nearly 10 years. However, I allowed a new marriage, raising my Daughter, finishing college, first professional level job, Mom’s cancer, the Spouse Toad, and my stupid brain to derail me into a weigh gain that has accumulated for nearly 30 years. At 60+ years of age, the train has to get into reverse if it is to avoid a collision with the Grim Reaper.

So how to stay on track when my brain screams “I want a cookie, I want a donut, I want ice cream, I want, I want, I want” every waking moment of my life. It is definitely a war of the minds – both in the same head, attached to one person – me! I wish I could shoot that brain that is alway screaming “I want”!

My Daughter has successfully lost quite a few pounds using My Fitness Pal (MFP) & exercise. SO, for the past 2 weeks I have been using MFP and logging ALL my food – every last calorie, regardless of whether it takes me over my goal or not. What an eye opener! Calories pile up unbelievably fast! No wonder my ass is so fat! I have found that it is definitely calories in versus calories out.

While I read articles on negative calorie foods and all that, it all comes down to total calories. If I eat more than about 1200 calories a day, I don’t lose. If I eat between 1200 – 1500 calories or so, I pretty much stay where I am. More than 1500, the pounds keep going up. If I add exercise into the equation, then I can eat more calories. Ugh! All this calorie counting drives me nuts, but what are you gonna do? Either I do it and lose the weight or don’t and face the consequences!

And there are consequences, believe me. My Orthopedist says I am facing knee replacement surgery in 3-6 years if I don’t get the weight off. While my blood pressure is still an enviable 110/70, it is up from 90/60 in previous years. So far no diabetes, but I am not sure how or why. I do have high cholesterol but don’t take pills for it because they give me leg cramps. So what to do! Gotta face it & get myself into a regular exercise routine and a healthy, calorie limited eating plan. Tonight this blog has kept me out of the kitchen, reminded me of all the nasty health implications of weight gain, AND turned off that screaming voice in my brain for a short time. My Weight Toad has been moved slightly to the side of MY Road for one night.

Toad’s Come in Many Forms

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I have been doing some deep pondering this past weekend since starting my blog. I mean, you can’t write a blog without something interesting to say. Who wants to listen to continuous rants about the lack of help from my spouse? Besides, why waste energy on being frustrated with the lack of help! I looked at his bank account balance this weekend – I’m hiring a cleaning team and paying for it out of his account!

I also realized that my spouse is not the only Toad in MY road. I have numerous Toads, although he is the biggest and by far the most frustrating. My other Toads are my fault. I get frustrated because of lack of help from him, so I just don’t do anything either. I figure if I let things get bad enough, he will pitch in and help. NOT! So this weekend, I began doing the work myself – slowly & quietly, leaving him to stew in his man cave. No one offered to fix breakfast and lunch / dinner were whatever leftovers he could find in the refrigerator – he HATES leftovers. I noshed on veggies and fruit – not much prep and he doesn’t like them!

MY next truly big Toad is my weight. I cannot blame that one on anyone but myself. Well, maybe my stupid brain too – that little voice in my brain that is always shouting “I want chips, I want sweets, I want …, I want …”. Once in my life, when my Daughter was little, I managed to lose 70+ pounds. I realized that if I did not, I might not live to raise her. I kept my weight down until she was in her early teens. I started gaining back when my Mother was diagnosed with cancer. Now 25+ years after my Mother’s death, I weigh more than I ever have in my life. Well last week, I decided that I have to get this Toad under control. Part of that control, is taking care of me, first and foremost. The male human Toad can take care of himself! Or not, his choice.

Writing this blog gives me time to reflect, take stock and focus on what is important to me. I have spent the past 60+ years being what I was expected to be, working to care for others, and to earn a living to keep a roof over mine & my family’s heads. While I still have to work to earn that living, I will be treating my precious free time much more carefully. I will not take it for granted and I will do things I want to do. And along the way, I may just get rid of some of The Toads in MY Road.