Category Archives: Work Toad

Rainy Days & Fridays Always Get Me ??

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Rainy Friday’s, especially those worked from home, come with mixed emotions. I want to curl up by the fireplace and read a book  But right now, it’s too warm to have the fireplace going. What kind of November in Wisconsin is this? Thanksgiving is upon us and we are in the low 50’s! Strange weather. AND, I have to work today. I am taking a short coffee break to make a few notes here. And then there is the excitement of the coming holiday tempered by the mountain of housework to be done before family arrives to celebrate with me. So it is with longing to curl up and read a book, I go back to work – but at least I am working from my recliner, in my sweats while I wait to sign for a FedEx delivery. The only way it could get better is if the house cleaning fairies showed up to do all my housework, all my projects were caught up for the day, and I were napping/reading that book! I don’t think that’s too much to ask, do you?

The Fourteen Week Chicago Shuffle

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For the past 14 weeks, work has required that I be at a customer site in the Chicago, IL area. This meant weekly travel that sometimes extended through the weekend, making my stay to two weeks. I have not seen my office at work since June 24th. Hopefully it’s still my office. Given the shortage of office space at work, they very well could have assigned it to someone else!

The good news is the customer accepted the system – allowing my company to gain needed third quarter revenue. The better news is that I am on vacation next week AND my Daughter is visiting!!! We are going to P A R T Y!!!!!

During my tenure in the Chicago area I discovered some great places to eat, some really neat towns and shopping areas, and found a great hair stylist at an Aveda Salon. And on one of those weekends I had to stay in Chicago for work, THE Toad came down for a weekend. We enjoyed a delicious dinner of Wylarah Filet Mignon at Eddie Merlot’s, Chicago-style deep dish pizza at Giordano’s and Chicago-style hot dogs at Portillo’s. While all of this was a SERIOUS deviation from THE Toad’s post heart attack diet, he immediately returned to the “straight and narrow” on  his diet. Come to find out, THE Toad has lost over 30 pounds since his heart attack! And he admitted to feeling much better. Now I have to get on my pony & get MY weight off. He is doing SO much better at watching his diet than I am; it’s sad.

While I said in one of my previous texts that I had a breakthrough in my eating and had avoided all the sweets, snacks and bad food during my initial weeks in Chicago, and I did manage 17 days of exercise, I completely fell off the wagon as the installation in Chicago grew more intense and stressful. The last month has pretty much been too many calories, no exercise, and stress, stress, stress! Not a combination for weight loss.

So what’s coming up after vacation? Back to Chicago! But, since the system was accepted, things “should” be less stressful. And, I have to eat better and exercise or I am going to be the next one to have a heart attack!

Work Travel, Heart Attack, and Other Crazy Toads

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So many Toads; so little time! The Toads in my life are moving at Mach 2 these days. Since my last blog post the Work Travel Toad has returned full time. As have the Bitchy Customer Work Toads. Lord save me from female Project Managers who feel they have to act like the ultimate bitch to be successful. I guess they never heard the old saying “you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar!” Do they really think it makes them more successful? I have worked the Project Management game for 15+ years and have been very successful at it, but not once have I felt the need to act like an unmitigated bitch to be successful. Treating people respectfully and appreciating their contribution to the project goes a lot further.

Then there is the 5 AM phone call to your hotel room from your Daughter to say “Mom, Daddy had a heart attack last night, emergency surgery and no one can get you on your cell phone!” Talk about shifting into over drive! Immediate calls to the corporate travel agency for a plane home, speeding drives to / from airports, one way car rentals, mad cart rides through the airport to get to the next plane, and a lot of luck got me to the hospital 12 hours later. THE Toad, was fine. I will say that he seems to have a new outlook on life and is more amenable to helping me and spending time with me.

Miraculously, he had driven himself to the hospital, then was transferred to another hospital where he underwent emergency surgery to insert a stent into the main artery to the heart. Turns out I was right – the day before I left on travel, when he had arm and shoulder pain, he was indeed having heart attacks. Of course, being your typical hard headed male, he was certain it was shoulder pain due to his torn rotator cuff. When the doctor was taking him into surgery, he suggested to THE Toad that he should listen to his wife next time as she was obviously smarter than him! Score one for the wife!

In the aftermath of the heart attack THE Toad & I have made the decision to move to New Hampshire to live closer to our Daughter. Luckily my work allows me to work from anywhere so long as I have a major airport nearby and a high speed internet connection. So, instead of waiting until I retire to move near my Daughter, we are putting the house we purchased 2 years ago up for sale and making plans to move. I truly hope my next move is to the funeral home! I have an enough moves in my life! On the other hand, I am very much looking forward to living near my Daughter and being able to visit with her more frequently. We have not lived in the same town since she was 18 years old and went off to college. This will be a real treat. She is, and always has been, my Daughter and my best friend. My journey through life with her is my most cherished experience.

During this past week, while working at the customer site, I had a critical breakthrough with the Weight Toad! I managed to resist the temptation to indulge in the various donuts, muffins, cookies and snacks that are ever present during major installs at a customer site. I stuck to my clean eating plan – consuming fish, chicken, salads (without massive amounts of salad dressing), veggies, black coffee and water. I felt SO much better all week long. Today I did indulge in a pizza for dinner and I must say, I feel really crappy this evening. Back to the clean eating tomorrow. I felt SO much better all last week. That was a MAJOR accomplishment for me. I also lost 2 pounds. At least the Weight Toad is going in the right direction – down!

And today just happens to be the 34th anniversary for THE Toad and I! Proof positive that miracles do happen!

 

Family Toads

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Another family visit & some much needed down time! This time I am visiting my Uncle, Aunt & Cousins out west in Arizona. We celebrated my Uncle’s 80th birthday on Friday. He had no idea I was coming to town & was quite surprised when he walked into my cousin’s home & saw me. Big hugs all around! Wonderful. My cousin & I made him his favorite desert and meal for his birthday dinner. Chicken & dumplings the way my Grandma made them and pineapple upside-down cake. To say my Uncle was happy with his birthday would be an understatement. He also received a gift card for the local golf course from my Dad & I. My cousin gave him his fishing license and a Salt Blaster gun – it shoots tiny bursts of salt to kill insects. Interesting device.

Sunday Unc and I went to his local golf course & enjoyed 9 holes of golf on his gift card. We had a great time! I even scored my first birdie in all my times playing golf. Seeing as how I only play golf every few years or so, my Dad would chalk this up to “even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every now & then!” So it is with some sort of blind, dumb luck I achieved a birdie and two pars on the 9 hole course. The remaining holes were boggies and then some! Like I said – luck. I did have lots of fun & so did Unc.

If you can’t tell, I adore my Unc! He was 16 years old when I was born & has always spoiled me. I spoil him too – there is no food I won’t fix if he wants it! Over the years he has given me many things, mostly his time but also some very cherished trinkets. I call them trinkets not to minimize their value, they are far from that – beautiful Native American jewelry (he knows how much I love it), a gold locket with engraved flowers on it, and gold, intricately carved pendants and matching earrings. He also gave me his time and experiences – driving a car at night when I was 16 & not normally allowed to do so, visits to Native American ruins, working in his t-shirt store in Durango, NM and at the big flea market in Denver, CO. He also gave his time to my daughter and allowed her to learn whether or not she wanted to be a photographer. She did!

And then there is Auntie – or my big Sister as I like to think of her! She is a scream. We have such fun together – mostly ganging up on my Uncle to get our way! Auntie has worked hard her entire life – running the various businesses she & Unc have had over the years – photography studios (yes, they are both photographers), t-shirt shops, and other ventures. She is tough, smart, savvy and wise.

This afternoon we are going over to my cousins for a Memorial Day cookout & visit. It will be my last night in town. I am looking forward to the chance to visit with my cousin again before I fly home tomorrow. This time spent with family is just so wonderful and so good for recharging my batteries! Nothing can beat it!

Tomorrow I fly home to MY Toad and the 3 little dog Toads.Then on Tuesday I start dealing with the Work Toad again. Oh Joy!

 

 

 

Toads Down the Rabbit Hole

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Nearly a month has passed since my last post. Toads depression, binge eating, laziness, lack of discipline, frustration, and anger have taken me down the Rabbit Hole. And Alice and the Mad Hatter are no where to be found! There are no tea parties with fancy cups, splendid gardens, or funny animals.

Just Toad Frustration is attacking from two fronts – work and home. Toad Work Frustration is at an all-time high. My latest project requires me to deal with the most difficult customer I have ever been assigned. Customers always want to the most bang for the buck; I don’t blame them, I do too. But  I have never believed in being a bitch just because I am the Project Manager. It just makes everything associated with the project SO stressful. Do people that act like tyrants and treat others disrespectfully really believe they are effective? And when people jump down my throat, my natural tendency is to jump back! Of course, part of the Work Frustration Toad is mine – I just do not want to do this type of work any longer and cannot wait to retire. I got a taste of retirement several years ago when a work related injury benched me for 14 weeks. Best 14 weeks ever! Other than being able to work remotely when I am not required to be at a customer site, I just do not like the job. I much prefer building things.

Then there is the THE Toad – he is still absolutely no help, having told me he would rather “claw his own eyes out” than help me around the house. To say that hearing this has caused my emotions to spiral out of control would be an understatement. Weekends have been spent eating, repeatedly playing Rivers Elvish (game app on my iPhone), watching TV, and wishing the Toad would just disappear from my life. For the first time in my life, the depression and frustration I have been feeling have been spilling over into work. I have barely been able to do my job. The single thing I have managed to do is log my calories in My Fitness Pal every day. And let me tell you – most days the calories have been in the stratosphere – calories stack up SO FAST! No wonder I have hit a new all time high weight. I cannot blame this on genetics – unless I am somehow genetically predisposed to depression and overeating to drown my sorrows! I think I can truly understand how hard it must be for an alcoholic. I just cannot seem to control my eating. I realize it is emotional eating and that to overcome it, I need to address the emotions. Where to start? How to get there? Many questions; few answers. And never before have I revealed such information in a public forum.

So where to from here? How do I get my Toads back in line and my life back on track?

 

The Work Toad

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The Work Toad is often a four-lettered word; sometimes it’s actually a happy word but most often it is not. Instead it is just a means to an end. That end is food on the table, a roof over our heads, a vehicle to take us where we want to go, clothes, our children’s well-being, and the chance for a rare vacation. In today’s world of employers demanding ever increasing levels of productivity with fewer and fewer resources, it frequently means 80+ hour work weeks, time spent in airports and on airplanes, missed birthdays, anniversaries, and children’s programs, and a general lack of anything resembling a life. It is commonly referred to as “the daily grind” for a reason. It grinds us down, making us old before our time, and dissatisfied with life.

For some, the Work Toad brings satisfaction, a sense of purpose, and is their life’s calling. They actually love their chosen job. Some of these fortunate few actually achieve some semblance of a work-life balance. Others, do not. However, it is a conscious choice on their part, their job consumes them and they love it. Personally, I think these people need help, but I respect the choice they have made.

For others like me, my job is just that – a job. It is a means to earn money to support my family. I am very competent at my job but it is not a job that I love. I have had a couple of jobs that I truly loved and enjoyed going to work every day. And sometimes I even let it take over my life. But alas, jobs in the IT world change based on market and government conditions. My current job is one of those where no matter how many projects I complete; more is always expected. The work days are long and more often that not, spill into precious weekends and holidays. We are told to take vacations and spend time with family, but only so long as it does not impact the company’s profit margins. On the positive side I earn a very good salary which allows me to provide for my family – not extravagantly, but well above the poverty line.

I will continue this job and the life it provides for another 6.5 years and then I will retire. On that day, I will leave IT and Project Management behind but I will not stop working. You see, in the day of 401K’s being your only retirement and a late entry into the work force, I will have to continue to work to supplement my retirement income. The next job will be for love! Something I truly enjoy. It may not pay much but I will be rich in the satisfaction achieved by doing a job I truly enjoy. I will have finally reached the point that eastern philosophy says “Find what you love and you will never work a day in your life” or something like that. My next job will also be a four-lettered word – LOVE!